What is Counselling?

There can be times when we experience difficulties that are hard to sort out on our own. Sometimes our usual sources of support, such as family or friends, are too close to us or can even be part of the problem. It may then be helpful to see a trained and experienced counsellor in a private and confidential setting where it is possible to talk freely. The counsellor will provide an opportunity to explore feelings, make sense of what is happening, gain greater self-awareness, look at the options available and decide on the best course of action.
Acceptance and respect for each individual is a vital part of counselling. It means that the person can be confident that they will not be judged and a relationship based on trust is able to develop.
The aim of counselling is to encourage people to find their own solutions – it is not about giving advice or instruction.

Counselling when there are Fertility Problems

We know that when people have problems conceiving and have to seek medical help they can experience “a roller coaster of emotions”. For many it is the most distressing and disruptive experience in their lives and their feelings can range from despair, hope, anger, anxiety and isolation to grief.
The situation can also put a great strain on relationships, not only with a partner, wife or husband but with relatives and friends who may not fully understand what it is like to have fertility issues. It is hard to deal with other people announcing a pregnancy, having a baby or just seeing people enjoying family life.
It is usually difficult to deal with the outcome of treatment if the tests are negative or people receiving any kind of bad news and understandable that anxiety about the future then increases.
Sometimes people face very painful decisions about whether to try again or whether to think about other ways to create a family. These may offer hope but also involve feelings of sadness and loss about the child that had been planned. These other ways include the possibility of egg, sperm or embryo donation, adoption or surrogacy, each of which has implications that need to be understood. People nearly always need time and support to work out how they feel and whether this would be the way forward for them.
Under any of these circumstances counselling can provide a safe haven where people have a chance to explore their most difficult feelings and try to adjust to their situation. A counsellor can help people deal with the distress they are feeling, explore their options, express their grief and work with couples or individuals to reduce stress in their relationships.
Where necessary, a counsellor can enable a person to find other specialist support services and also provide relevant information that may be helpful.
You have a legal right to be offered counselling if you are attending an assisted conception centre for treatment. The majority of centres provide at least some of these sessions without charge but at others you will be charged a fee. You will be able to get details from the centre itself.

The Infertility Counsellor

The counsellor is expected to have specialist competence in infertility counselling. He or she must have an appropriate qualification, be accredited or working towards accreditation by a recognised counselling body that has a complaints/disciplinary procedure and they should have agreed to abide by a relevant code of conduct or ethics.

BICA

BICA is the British Infertility Counselling Association and is the professional body for infertility counsellors in the UK. If you are looking for a counsellor who specialises in this area you can find a list of infertility counsellors who accept BICA referrals by clicking on your local area on our counselling requests list. Details of most of the counsellors who accept referrals are listed, but not all of them. There are more counsellors available in some areas than others and for some areas none of our members have registered on the list. If there are no suitable counsellors available in your local area or if you prefer this approach, you can make a telephone counselling arrangement.


All the BICA members who are registered on our referral list meet the requirements set out in the HFEA (Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority) Code of Practice Section 1.9 (6th edition), have at least 150 hours experience of infertility counselling, have professional liability insurance and attend regular supervision. The list was closed in December 2008 to counsellors who are not BICA accredited infertility counsellors [AMBICA] or senior accredited counsellors [SAMBICA]. Some of the counsellors currently on this list are not BICA accredited but do meet the criteria listed above. Please note, however, that you will need to satisfy yourself as to the standard and relevance of the qualifications offered by any counsellor whom you contact.


Our recommendation is that you start by contacting the counsellor for an informal discussion. If you decide to go ahead, the times you meet, the number of sessions and the fees should be decided between the counsellor and yourself. The leaflet Ten Rules for Choosing a Counsellor provides further advice and information.

Alternatives

All licensed fertility treatment centres must offer you access to counselling in line with the HFEA Code of Practice. If you are receiving treatment and have not already done so, it is worth finding out who is the named counsellor at your clinic and also whether there is a local support group where you can meet other people in a similar situation.


The Infertility Network UK and More To Life (INUK) Tel: 0800 008 7464 or website www.infertilitynetworkuk.com offer both written information and contact with others who are experiencing fertility problems. Two of the services offered to members are the "Daytime Advice Line". This is run by a qualified nurse with many years of experience, including infertility. This operates Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 10.00hrs - 16.00hrs and is fully confidential.

"Helpliners" are also available. These are members of 'INUK' who have experience of certain types of infertility and are happy to talk of their experiences and offer information. Other services are described and accessed by the website.

BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) - Tel 0870 443 5252, Website www.bacp.co.uk

UKCP (UK Council of Psychotherapy) - www.psychotherapy.org.uk/

BCP (British Confederation of Psychotherapists) - www.bcp.org.uk

Many GP practices now offer a counselling service or will be able to refer you on to a qualified therapist.

Contact Us
For further information and advice, please contact Sandra Hewett, The BICA Information Officer -